LOST predictions/theories

Doctor Daniel here, posting under popculture fairy’s account because I’m too lazy to figure out how to log in to my own.

Since it is only a matter of hours until the final season of LOST kicks off – i am going to make my predictions now so you can hold how wrong I was over my head later.

Let’s start off by addressing the idea that human beings as variables can alter the constants of a timeline.  In other words that you CAN change the past.  From here on out referred to as “Ferriday’s 2nd law of time travel”.
Should Ferriday’s 2nd law prove to supercede Ferriday’s 1st law of time travel (What happened happened), this could very well be the ‘reset button’.  But what happens if they alter the past and create some paradox wherein they never ended up on the island? (and therefore never could’ve reset it which means they DID go the island.  But if the T1000 actually kills Connor, then there will be no reason for Skynet to send it back – meaning Connor will live meaning they’ll send it back….ow my head.)

I was pondering how they would address a time paradox on Lost and how they’d reconcile it.  Well then I gots ta thinkin’…..  Remember when everybody said Stephen King was REALLY writing the show?  Well as a matter of fact, a paradox has been addressed in the Dark Tower series.

If you haven’t read Dark Tower and plan to – stop reading here. Spoilers abound. Unless you’ve read through Book III – but just not the rest. You’re safe.

Still with me? Okay!

In the first book, Jake dies in New York in the mid 1970s and suddenly finds himself in Mid-World where he meets Roland.  Inexplicably, he should just be dead, yet there he is.  In another dimension if you will.  Of course, Roland remedies Jake’s resurrection by dropping him into an abyss like a complete douchebag (hey sometimes a quest is more important than a bro-mance.)

In book II, Roland’s journey finds him traveling to New  York in the mid 1970s where he unwittingly affects the flow of events to the accidental end of saving Jake’s life.  The death of Jake never happened.  Which means Jake never went to Mid-World and met Roland.  Once the timeline had been altered, Roland of course no longer remembered Jake as they’d never met.  And yet….somehow he started to.

As books II and III go on, both Jake and Roland in their respective timelines/dimensions have increasing memories of each other which conflict what they know to be reality.  This gradually drives them more and more batshit insane until finally a portal is opened in an old haunted house on Jake’s end and in a magic circle on Roland’s end where Jake is pulled through to Mid-world and Jake and Roland reunite/meet for the first time.  This somehow ends and reconciles their brain problems and they remember both timelines simultaneously, yet the memories are no longer hostile to their state of mind.  “Time is mended, paradox ended.”

I think that the LOST posse will reset time, never have gone to the island.  And they will start having weird memories of some other life that will drive them crazy until they all gradually meet back in the ‘real world’ (in their old lives).  The fact that they all were connected and a hair’s width away from all running into each other prior to the plane crash is very convenient to such a plotline.

Now about Jacob.  Who the hell IS he?  Who is the fake John Locke?  Is he even fake or is the body a fake?  “THEN WHO WAS PHONE!?”

I think this Jacob and mysterious man at the beginning of the season finale all go back to the very first episode of LOST.

The one thing everybody seems to have forgotten was the very first thing in the show.  The warning by the psychic (bizarro Ted Brautigan?) to Claire that if anybody but Claire raised Aaron, there would be the most dire consequences!  He made it seem like Aaron had the potential to be the effing antichrist!  And for all we know, he does.

Aaron has been conveniently written out of the storyline to make way for the grown-ups to do lots of action sequences.  But this is part of the swerve! They want you to kinda forget about the Aaron storyline on purpose.

I suspect that Jacob IS Aaron!!  He clearly has powers as he stopped Richard Alpert from aging.  Could these powers be put to evil use? Is that why it was so important for Claire to raise him right?  But how is he an adult?  The same way Miles as a grown man met his dad from the time he was an infant.  Time travel!

Then who is the other man? The Anti-Jacob as fans have taken to calling him.  Rampant speculation tends to point to that the anti-Jacob is actually the Smoke Monster which also has the power to appear in the form of dead people.  (people like John Locke? Ben’s daughter? perhaps even Jacob himself?)  Where did this mysterious person come from?

My theory/prediction is that the anti-Jacob is ALSO AARON!!  Two versions of Aaron! From two seperate timelines! At odds with each other for centuries on a supernatural island!  Like Lazarus from “The Alternative Factor” episode of Star Trek.  (wiki it.) Lazarus was finally contained in whatever weird quantum singularity they wrote to resolve the episode – to be locked in epic struggle with the anti-matter version of himself for all eternity!  So it is with Aaron.

The rest? Who’s the real John Locke? Is he really dead? Who will survive and what will become of them?  Will Sawyer, Kate, and Jack finally get in an epic three-way?

Hell if I know!  I’m only one man and have spent my brainpower coming up with that much!

All I CAN tell you is that my prediction for the series finale is this:

Matthew Fox will wake up on the set of Party of Five explaining to Lacy Chabert, Scott Wolf, Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt that he had the weirdest dream about a crazy island and the guy who played Howard Hughes in “The Rocketeer”.  Thus giving the viewing audience the most ULTIMATE mindfuck swerve since the series finale of Newhart!

Best Movies By Genre: Action

I’m not a big action fan, but I can scrape together a top 5 list!

5. Shoot Em Up- So over-the-top that it makes fun of the genre and I LOVE THAT.

4. Matrix- Yeah…it kinda fits in sci-fi too, but I’m a nerd.

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark- I love all the Indiana Jones movies…Indy is just a lot of fun, no matter who you are…

2. KILL BILL- Tarantino fan all the way and I think this one has worked it’s way up my list because despite the fact that I own it on dvd, I STILL WATCH IT EVERY TIME IT’S ON TV!

1.  TERMINATOR 2- Another one that sorta fits in sci-fi too. The image of that playground will stick with you forever. It’s nonstop action, but the plot is EXCELLENT.

Best Films by Genre: Fantasy

This is a tough one…I’m going to have to do a runner-up list.

5. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- Gene Wilder version has always been my favorite movie. On the fantasy list, I put it a little lower because it’s not what people automatically think of when they think of fantasy.

4. Labyrinth- David Bowie’s area in this film inspired a webpage (areaology.com). Among my friends, you cannot “You remind me of the babe…” without someone answering, and the rest of the song coming shortly thereafter. It’s a classic. The music is great, the puppets are quotable, Bowie is hot, and Jennifer Connelly first grabbed my attention.

3. Edward Scissorhands- Again, not one that normally pops into mind when you think of fantasy, but it is a beautiful, fantastical tale. I cry every time I watch it, but yet I’ll still watch it over and over again. It’s one you want to share with everyone…

2. LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring- I remember seeing it at the theater and being wowed. It was beautiful and magical…I felt like a giddy child seeing all of the LOTR movies. I was thinking…THIS is what fantasy should be…

1. Wizard of Oz- I watched it EVERY single time it came on television growing up & now I own it on dvd for my enthusiastic niece to watch when she comes over. It was ahead of its time…it still holds up as a GLORIOUS and magical film…No child or adult can resist its charm.

Runners-up: Neverending Story, Harry Potter, Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Monty Python & The Holy Grail, and Clash of the Titans.

Currently…

Currently Reading:  Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (Just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy- DEPRESSING!)

Just watched:  “Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door” and “Knocked Up” on tv.  I had read the Jack Ketchum book and it was HORRIFIC and disturbing. The movie had an unknown cast…at first I was cool with that. There was very little changed for the screen, but the kids playing the parts just lacked something…I didn’t really feel much for them. “Knocked Up” was funny. It had a lot of laughs like most other Apatow films, but just not something I’d watch over and over again.

Last Movie at Theater: AVATAR- It was a classic story of good vs. evil. Plus I’m a sucker for 3D. I had low expectations going into it because most people said the same thing – “Great effects, mediocre story.” I thought it was worth a watch in the theater. Catch it while it’s still playing!

On TV:  STILL anxiously waiting on LOST to come back on. Been watching Heroes, but it’s gotten mediocre except for the underlying lesbian cheerleader stuff going on! I’ve been dvr-ing re-run episodes of My Name Is Earl and it’s a good show for cheering yourself up. I only caught a few episodes when it was actually on, because I rarely watch live tv. (DVR!)  I got into Eastwick, but it got cancelled.  And with the late-night war, I’m watching every bit of Conan that I can before he’s gone.

Listening: Lots of Elvis, Old Country, and a little Lady Gaga (thanks to my sister!)

Playing: Lots of Country Story on Facebook and an old PS1 game that I love called “Eternal Eyes” it’s a strategic RPG with cute magical puppets. I’m replaying it because I’m bored and got no new games for Xmas.

Late Night Wars II

I swear I don’t know who put the assclown suits in charge of NBC for the past ten years – but the last few heads of programming have been the biggest fuckups in the history of television.

I grew up on TV.  I have always been an NBC loyalist – but this run of bad managers has turned what was once the ratings juggernaut for DECADES into the lowest rated ‘network’ on television.  It takes real incompetence to turn something so good into something so bad.   What happened?!

Now as far as the late night shakeup goes – I believe my opinion may carry perhaps a little more weight on the matter than other people my age or younger.    The reason being that I was an odd kid and was watching late-night television as a child since the Johnny Carson era.

In fact, I have stated on more than one occasion that David Letterman was my idol.  I even arranged a chair and couch in my bedroom in such a way as to mimic the chair/couch combo of a late-night show. (sans desk).

I was there when Carson ended his show. I watched the very last installment – and I tuned in to the very first Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  I was always a big Late Night with David Letterman fan and even wrote numerous letters to his viewer mail.  (To my chagrin – none of which were ever read on the air.  Alas.)  I watched his rage against the network and watched both his final Late Night and his first Late Show.  I watched many and many an Arsenio Hall show and can even perfectly mimic the announcer introduction word for word, stretching out “Arseniooooo…” as long as Burton Richardson.

Now on this whole big clusterfuck NBC has gotten themselves into -

First things first.  We hold this truth to be self evident: Johnny Carson is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.  Not to take anything away from Jack Paar, but if Steve Allen was  Washington and Jack Paar was Jefferson, then Carson is Lincoln/Kennedy/and both Roosevelts combined.   Carson’s stint on the Tonight Show was the stuff of television legend.  There is a reason he is so revered and so missed by the general public.  The task of filling his enormous shoes is so unenviable, that one wonders why David Letterman ever really wanted it in the first place.  That being said, Letterman obviously was passed over for this slot in favor of Carson’s official guest host – Jay Leno.  Now at the time, people were surprised by this move.  I was not.  I always thought it was kind of a logical conclusion that Leno would follow Carson as he reguarly hosted the show in Johnny’s absence for years already.

And to be perfectly honest – as much of a Letterman mark as I am, I have to say I think that was the right decision.  Letterman is great at what he does, but for me, he really lost something once he left NBC and got his CBS gig.  The most compelling thing to me about Letterman was his rage against the machine.  Once he got what he wanted (sort of), that anger – that rebelliousness and hunger was gone and he lost his edge.  He still had (and has) a solid show and it makes for some great moments sometimes.

But Leno turned out to be a really good fit for the Tonight Show in the long run.  Now here I’m going to give Leno well-deserved credit.  He has done an absolutely fantastic job of helming the Tonight Show franchise for years now.  Now the Leno-era Tonight Show was never really a show that I thought “Oh I want to watch that.” when I thought of it.  Yet, literally every single one I’ve watched has without fail been enjoyable.    And Leno has been #1 in late night ratings.  It’s those numbers that are causing NBC to flail around in desperation wishing, hoping, and praying they will somehow be able to get them back.  Because in the land of TV – the ratings are all that matters.  Leno had them, Conan doesn’t (yet).

NBC screwed over Jay Leno by pushing him out of The Tonight Show.  Leno didn’ WANT to leave, necessarily.  When asked how the subject of his departure was broached by NBC…. Leno’s response: “Broached? I was TOLD.”  Leno had been a workhorse who entered his position amid controversy and politics and ended up facing a ratings battle on two fronts against Arsenio AND Letterman.  And won them both – having a long successful streak with a solid viewer base and high ratings.  And for his efforts?  He gets ousted in favor of Conan.  This was flat-out wrong.

Conan is a talented young man who was BORN to do what he does.  He started out in late night, as his first big break was an SNL writer. Then inherited the reins of Late Night from Letterman and went from being a nervous greenhorn with ratings in the toilet,  the whole of America saying he ’sucked’,  and suits calling for his head – to being declared “The King of Late Night” by TV Guide in a few short years.  A title he would continue to be called for the next ten years with solid ratings and a rabid fanbase.  Musical acts like Jewel and Green Day saw sales dramatically pick up after appearances on the show, leading to record labels vying to get their acts booked.   Clearly, this man was the heir-apparent to Carson – albeit geared for an entirely different generation.  Even Leno thought so.

But now that NBC has fucked over Leno, and tried to make amends by bringing back what is essentially The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at a prime-time timeslot: an experiment that has blown up in their faces (and only even came about as a band-aid fix to plug a hole NBC had by canceling prime-time scripted shows with a cheap talk show), they now want to rectify the situation by screwing over Conan AND Jimmy Fallon…. moreover they have no real plan and have canceled all their best shows and thus have not provided an adequate prime-time lead-in to their late-night block (nor do they have one lined up) and thus should this crap deal go through – The end result will be that they’ll be screwing over ALL THREE by dicking up the timeslots and leaving all three hosts with no prime time lead-in or support.

This entire debacle is the EPITOME of incompetence.  They clearly have learned NOTHING from the fiasco that occurred after Carson retired.  And by comparison, that whole clusterfuck looks like a minor incident.

I honestly believe there is a place for Leno on tv somewhere.  What that format might be, what timeslot it might work on, and what network it will be on is anybody’s guess, but he’s a good guy and deserves better than how he’s been treated.  But at this point, I don’t believe it’s any longer feasible for him to host The Tonight Show.  If the Jay Leno Show tanked, I don’t believe shortening it to 30 mins and moving it back is going to rectify anything.

And the sad part is that this whole song and dance is all about ratings.  The fucking Neilsen ratings system DOES NOT WORK! HAS NEVER WORKED! AND WILL NEVER WORK!!  You would think NBC would’ve figured this out FORTY YEARS AGO when they canceled STAR TREK! This supposed ratings killer lasted two seasons before NBC gave it the axe – and a massive letter writing campaign convinced them to renew it for a 3rd before it was unceremoniously canceled again in the name of ratings.  5 additional Star Trek shows, and 11 feature films later, it is still with us! The last feature film alone grossed $384,953,671.

You would think they might’ve learned from watching Firefly get canceled, only for that network to realize all too late that – HOLY SHIT!! The dvd is selling TRUCKLOADS and TRUCKLOADS of copies!! People actually watched that show! Damn!

You’d think they might’ve picked up a hint from watching Fox cancel Family Guy only to have to uncancel it and apologize to the show creator/producer when the same truckloads of dvds started selling with that franchise as well.

How much of an incompetent moron does Jeff Zucker have to be to turn the most successful TV network ever into a barren wasteland? How does he still have a job?  Why are GE/NBC/Universal shareholders not screaming for his head?!

The best possible resolution to this entire debacle is the following:

Jeff Zucker needs to be replaced at NBC.

Jay Leno needs to be graceful and bow out of NBC Late Night tv rather than invoke the ire of Conan’s fans.  At this point, it’s really the only move Leno can make, and it’s the classy thing to do anyway.  The longer he lingers in this mess the more he’s going to look like the bad guy.  NBC put Conan on the Tonight Show because they believed he was the future.  For all the positive things Leno is – the one thing he is not is the future.

NBC needs to get a clue and realize that it takes time for shows to build an audience.  It took Leno 3 years to finally begin beating Letterman in ratings.  CONAN CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO DO IT IN SEVEN MONTHS!

Conan needs to be allowed a little more leeway in his comedy.  We love Conan for being Conan – not for being a cleaned up, vanilla version of himself  (although with the level of class the Tonight Show has always had – some compromises are to be expected).

Networks as a whole need to find a newer, more accurate model to replace the current ratings system.

And wherever Ben Silverman ran off to – he needs to be shot.

What this network essentially has done is – held up Conan O Brien as the future of The Tonight Show – selling the hell out of him to the world, putting their complete faith and confidence in him as THE man to anchor a revered show… then turned around practially seconds later declaring in so many words that they have NO faith in him and don’t believe he will succeed, all the while screwing over Jay Leno twice in the process.

NBC is upset The Tonight Show lost a lot of its viewership?  Well that’s generally what happens when you try to replace your demographic.  The previous one goes away! That’s what they WANTED, right?  You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

This unprofessionalism is a slap in the face to O’ Brien and to a lesser extent Leno and Fallon – and a total affront to us the viewers.  Interneters everywhere are buzzing about a boycott of NBC.  One wonders whether a boycott would do any harm to a network that already has nobody watching.  If Jeff Zucker keeps staggering around wondering why in the hell NBC ratings stay so low – all he has to do is look in the mirror to find the reason.  Incompetence deserves to fail.

From Tupelo

I was born June 11, 1977 in Tupelo, Mississippi. That’s right, I came into the world just before the King of Rock N Roll left the building.

Mom holding me outside the birthplace, shortly after his death...

When I was little, my father teased me by saying, “You killed Elvis…you was born and he kicked off…” (Yeah, my dad’s a real sweetheart.)

At the time of my illustrious birth, my parents lived on Reese St. If you know your Tupelo streets, you’ll know that Reese St. leads right into the birthplace. We moved from that location when I was two years old to Mooreville, and that area is where I spent my remaining childhood years.

Elvis was always in my life, whether it be an occasional spin of my mom’s vinyl records or the random Elvis movie on cable or even local events relating to him. He was always there, as I grew up and my musical taste expanded from the good old country and rock that my mother was always playing on to weirder things…You know; grunge, punk, and goth…My horizons expanded to lots of things.

Growing up in Tupelo, you heard about him all the time.

Years went on and now I’m 32 years old. I’ve never denied being an Elvis fan, but some days you just take him and his music for granted. Growing up here is a different sort of animal…I see both young and old taking for granted his legacy- his influence on the economy, culture, and history of North Mississippi. That saddens me. I know some of you younguns think that Tupelo is this horribly boring place, but I hate to inform you that if you are unhappy; you are going to take that unhappiness with you to wherever you go. I learned this by moving away for college. I thought “escaping” would bring a better life.

He was a generous soul because of where he came from…Think on that.

Even if you don’t like his music, cheesy movies, or anything else he’s done, you have to pay the respect that’s due to him if you live in this community.

Someday, with the wisdom of age; you too will see that this place isn’t so bad and part of that reason is the improvements of the town brought about by the love of one little poor kid who made it big. (The classic rags-to-riches story!)

Happy 75th Birthday, Elvis. Wish you were still here.

Star-ving

David Faustino & Corin Nemec (much love of both- Faustino from Married With Children & Nemec being my favorite actor from “The Stand” & also from “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”)  have a web show that mock their own status as former child-stars.

Please note:  It’s not work-safe & it’s hilariously offensive.

Here’s episode one…if you like it, hunt the rest down for yourself!

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy

I wasn’t really a fan. I liked a few of the movies she was in…It really struck me hard since she was the same age as me. It reminds me too much of my own mortality.

I checked out her imdb earlier, out of curiosity. I couldn’t recall the first thing I’d seen her in. I was thinking it was most likely “Clueless”. However, upon going down the list, I noticed she was in “Almost Home: The Torkelsons”! Oh man, I loved that show.

So, for those that don’t remember- here’s a refresher:

Random Video Post

Randomly came across this by clicking through several things on youtube yesterday. This video was apparently made in conjunction with 500 Days of Summer, which I haven’t seen yet. The video is very cute and they are both talented people whom I can’t wait to see more of!

Movies For New Year’s Eve

Are you planning to stay in and watch a movie? I won’t, but here are two New Year’s Eve movies I recommend.

200 Cigarettes- star-studded cast: Martha Plimpton, Courtney Love, Christina Ricci, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Janeane Garofalo, Gaby Hoffmann, Jay Mohr, Paul Rudd, Catherine Kellner, Brian McCardie, Nicole Ari Parker, Angela Featherstone, Kate Hudson, Dave Chappelle, Guillermo Díaz. If that doesn’t convince you, it’s a comedy about life, love, and more. It’s set on New Year’s Eve in NYC in 1981. The soundtrack is excellent. This is a movie I subject most of my friends to, and most of the time they come out liking it.  (Favorite Character- Casey Affleck’s “sensitive punk”.)

Four Rooms- Four stories tied together by a bellboy in a hotel (played by Tim Roth!), trying to live through his first night of work- New Year’s Eve.   Directed by:  Quentin Tarantino, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez,  and Allison Anders. Cast includes:  Tim Roth, Antonio Banderas, Jennifer Beals, Paul Calderon, Sammi Davis, Valeria Golino, Madonna, Ione Skye, Marisa Tomei, Tamlyn Tomita, Bruce Willis, David Proval, Lili Taylor, Alicia Witt, Amanda DeCadenet, Danny Verduzco, Lana McKissack, Quentin Tarantino. I’ll watch this movie ANY time of the year, but NYE is especially good.